Never-Fail No-Roll Pie Crust

Pie crust – idiot proof edition.

Pie Crust

Never Fail, No Roll, Quick, Easy. The best pie crust recipe. Ever.

This is my favorite pie crust of all time – because it is completely fail proof. I have posted it before, but it is one of those recipes that you really must try to believe, and so I am posting it again. Even kids can help you with this because there is no rolling necessary. Just pat it into the pan and it turns out perfect every single time. Guaranteed.

I have hated making pies my entire life because of one thing: pie crust. Believe me, I have tried all of the “tricks” – which contradict each other, by the way- – – Keep the water ice-cold. Use boiling water. Don’t touch the crust with your hands. No, no – Use your hands to smear the butter into the flour. Whatever you do NEVER use a food processor. NO, no – Whatever you do ALWAYS use a food processor. Use vinegar. Use vodka. Use egg yolks. Use egg whites. Use only butter. Use only lard. Use only shortening. Use only oil. Use a combination. Freeze the fat. Freeze the bowl. Freeze the flour.

No matter what I tried, my crust never turned out. Until I discovered this crust recipe. 

I watched America’s Test Kitchen make a pie crust that looks and feels like play-dough and IS NOT rolled, but you just pat it into the pan. Yes, you read that right. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ROLL OUT THIS CRUST!  This pie crust works because of the fat plus a little dairy keep the gluten from toughening the crust.

These days, if you come to my house for the holidays, you must eat a piece of pie. The crust will be perfectly soft, perfectly seasoned and flavorful. If you don’t believe me, come on over to my house. Or, try this crust recipe.

Either way, it will change your life. Or at least your pie making.

Happy Pie Day, everyone!

Recipe makes 2 pie crusts for a 9 inch pie

1 1/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
8 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 ounces (4 tablespoons) cream cheese, at room temperature

In a food processor, process all ingredients until it begins to come together. Dump onto a floured board and pat out into two flat discs, about 1/2 inch thick.

Place in a pie pan and pat out to fit pan.

Bake as directed for your pie.

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